Are You Allowed to Feel Good? Reclaiming Your Right to Pleasure

What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘pleasure’? A spa day? Ice cream? Dancing in your pyjamas at 11pm with only the dog as your audience? 

For many of us, pleasure comes tangled up with a bit of guilt and a strong sense that we should really be doing something… productive. 

Years of hearing advice from society has left us feeling like enjoying ourselves is just a little bit naughty (and not always in a fun way).

Let’s be honest, the world praises those that put in hard work, tick their boxes, and juggle all their responsibilities. But taking time to feel actual joy doesn’t always get written on the to-do list.

But here’s something to remind you of. Pleasure isn’t a luxury that is thought of at the last minute – it’s a vital nutrient for your spirit. 

We live so much in our heads these days, running through mental to do lists, worrying about the dishwasher, debating how early is too early to put on our pyjamas. (Hint: never too early.) And our bodies? Mostly just along for the ride, quietly hoping we’ll invite them to the party.

I’m not surprised people get muddled about what brings them genuine pleasure. A biscuit in one hand yet not knowing if they’re eating out of joy, boredom, or the desperate hope that a chocolate digestive can solve life’s worries.  

If pleasure feels a bit distant, you’re not alone. Maybe you just need a nudge, or permission, or a change in perspective.

Here’s a radical thought: what if seeking pleasure was wise? Strategic, even! (Stay with me.) When you make pleasure and joy a part of your everyday life, pleasure for pleasure’s sake, you can unlock some pretty magical results:

1. Pleasure Heals: Honestly, a candlelit bubble bath can do more than another Netflix series ever could. True pleasure settles your nerves and reminds you that yes, you are allowed to feel good.
2. Pleasure Awakens: You’ll notice you’re actually in your body, not a floating brain on top of it. When you’re savouring, you’re present. When you laugh you feel alive and part of the action, even if the action is just lying on a picnic blanket watching clouds.
3. Pleasure Empowers: Standing up for your wants builds confidence that trickles into everything else (even if it’s just taking another slice of cake) 

Think of it as micro-dosing pleasure.

• Feel your own sensuality: Put on music and dance like nobody’s watching – except your dog, who is judging, but who cares? 
• Practise embodiment: Sip your tea slowly and notice the warmth. Take five minutes to stare out the window and let your mind wander. Go outside and actually feel your feet on the ground. Or – even better, do it barefoot.
• Own your desires: Forget the ‘shoulds.’ If you want to read a book in the middle of the afternoon, do it. Binge-watch guilty-pleasure TV in your fluffiest socks? Permission granted. Phone that friend who cracks you up? Absolutely.
• Embrace play: Play isn’t just for kids or puppies. Have a kitchen disco, sing out loud in the car, dust off the adult colouring book. Play is one of the highest forms of pleasure.

Pleasure brings you back to yourself.

So, what’s one tiny thing you could do today, just for the sheer pleasure of it? (Extra points if it makes you smile.)